you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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