THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
