I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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