If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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