Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
