it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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