I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
