Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
