dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
