i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
