hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
