So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i drank out of a bidet.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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