Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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