And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
