Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
a search helicopter?!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
