white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
