To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
