you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
