He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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