Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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