I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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