I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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