Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
love makes seman taste better
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
