whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
