i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
