I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
