trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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