some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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