marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
