Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
A+ Viking dick
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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