the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
