I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
