Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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