just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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