You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
