hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
