how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
