Im at strip club and am horny
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
