maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
