i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
