I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
