I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
When are your genitals available?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
