I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
