I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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