i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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