so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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