Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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