I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
