Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
