I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
