Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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