I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
