Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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