im having a threesome with these popsicles
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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