Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
